So you want to learn English.

Here, word for word, is a dialogue from my host brother’s English class; a compelling contrast of English language and Malian sensibilities:

TEXTE: Koffi’s Report

KOFFI: Oh it’s nice to be home.
DAVID: Was the bus full?
KOFFI: Yes it was. There were lots of people on it. I was between two very fat women.
DAVID: What about your exams? Were you top of your class?
KOFFI: We had them last week. They aren’t easy.
DAVID: Were you top of your class.
KOFFI: Well no I wasn’t top…I had a stomache-ache.
KALY: Have you got your report.
KOFFI: Emmm, no…dad has got it.
KALY: Here’s dad now. He looks angry.
FATHER: Look at your report Koffi. You’re 15 in English, 6 on French and nought in Maths. David bring me my big stick.
KOFFI: Oh no dad I’m sorry dad I was ill. My teachers don’t like me oh no dad no!